Awards, huh, yeah!
What are they good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me

Ohhh, awards, I despise
Because it means gala dinners
Of rubber chicken and butter knives

Awards mean tears
To thousands of advertisers’ eyes
When their ads are broadcast on nightly TV
But never affect consumers’ lives

Awards, they ain’t nothing
But a heartbreaker
Awards, friend only to the magazine publisher
They’re an enemy to all pharma kind
The point of awards blows my mind
Awards have caused unrest
Within the new media generation
Disrespect then co-optation

Ooooh, awards, have shattered
Many a young man’s dreams
Made him cynical, bitter and mean
Drug pipelines are much too short and precious
To waste time vying for awards today
Awards can’t increase DTC’s ROI
They can only raise an ad agency’s pay

Creativity, ROI and good communications
Tell me, is there no place for them today?
They say we must give awards to know what’s best
But Lord knows there’s got to be a better test

Awards, huh!
Good God y’all!
What are they good for
Stand up and shout it
Absolutely nothing

With apologies to the Motown 1970 hit “War” by Edwin Starr.

Read this to learn one thing awards are good for!